No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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