Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Drunk is not a location!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
