im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
