you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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