Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
