I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
