So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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