Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
