he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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