two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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