Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize