dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
