he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
