just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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