i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Small penises have feelings too.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
