he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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