we have pet lesbian snakes
I am puke
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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