how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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