just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
