Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well I just put wine in my tea
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize