he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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