how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
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I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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