hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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