i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
