the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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