hotel room ftw
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
