Dude my mom stole all your condoms
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
