so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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