hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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