i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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