when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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