Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize