I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
