if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
