yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
