6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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