Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
