I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
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