We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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