she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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