I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
