this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize