One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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