and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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