You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
