how can u be prego again
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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