Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
