I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
