ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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