Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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