im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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