I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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