you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
