I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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