This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
