He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
