Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
