Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
