Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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