I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
