guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
two words: eviction party
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
