I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize