what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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