Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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