It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
